I'm Back!

I'M BACK!  After 3 1/2 months (since mid-may) I have been in the valley - BIG TIME! However, I am praising God greatly, "Cuz I ain't there no more!"

This was a part of our devotion this morning regarding "All nature sings":

"...Brooks and waterfalls sing too. You've heard the soothing babble of a brook and the splashing rumble of the waterfall. Can you imagine them singing a song of praise to their Creator for the rocks and boulders in their path? Without the rocks and boulders there would be no music. And so it is in your life and mine. When everything goes smoothly, there is usually little thought given to God or to praise. But when the trials and troubles (rocks and boulders) appear in our lives, we cry out to God for help; and then we praise him when the trial is past."

How true is that?  I had lots of rocks and boulders in my path this past summer.  I cannot remember ever feeling so out of sorts before... so down.  But God is so faithful.  He never leaves us even in our darkest hour.  I held on to that truth.  My joy was all but gone; my body exhausted; my mind a swirling mess.  At times, I really wanted to give up - throw in the towel...but I couldn't...for Christ's sake alone.

I am going to enjoy my peak now, because I know all to well that the valley is coming again.  All we can do is hope and trust that each time we hit the valley, our faith has increased, even if in the slightest measure.  It is Hope that gets us through.
  
Thank you friends for all your prayers, your listening ears, and your encouragement during such a dark summer of my life. Love to you all!

Here it is!

Here it is!  The best Little House on the Prairie episode ever made :-)  Read the description of the episode below, then I will share why this episode came to mind for a post AND of course, my two cents as well.  Hehehehe!


Season 2: Episode 1

"Hanson's Mill closes when a major customer declares bankruptcy, leaving Lars unable to pay Charles two months of back pay. The Ingalls have a large tab at the mercantile forcing the family into a spirit of cooperation and sacrifice to pay off the bill. On the day Charles presents the funds due, Nels remarked, "Charles, with a family like that, you must be the richest man in Walnut Grove," to which Charles replies, "I know I am."


Last night was our ladies Bible Study at the Coffee House, and our topic was purity.  You can imagine all that we discussed.  Anyhow, one woman pointed out how her husband loves her just the way she is and finds her beautiful even when she comes home dirty from work.  :-)  Of course, this reminded me of a quote off of "The Richest Man in Walnut Grove".  Let me set the stage for you.  As you read above, the Ingalls family is all working together to make money to pay off debt owed to the mercantile.  Charles has two laborious jobs that keep him away from home early morning until late evening.  Caroline is left in charge of plowing the fields.  It is late in the day, and Caroline has lost track of time.  She is dirty, sweaty, hair fallen out of place, and bone tired when Charles arrives home.  He meets her in the field and this is the conversation that transpires:


Charles Ingalls:  Look at you.

Caroline Ingalls:  I must be a sight.

Charles Ingalls:  You are. Your face is dirty, your hair's all askew, and your still the prettiest woman a man ever set his eyes on. The only thing I regret about being married to you is that I'll never have the joy of asking you to be my wife again.

 

 

How romantic is that?!!!!  I love the word "askew" don't you?  I quoted that last night to the women at the group and we all laughed.

 

My family has watched this episode so many times, that I almost have it memorized.  As a matter of fact, when we were on the farm, and I would get dirty working outside, (oh, how I miss farm life) my husband would say that to me many a time.  It always makes me smile :) 

 

You know you have a good man, when he compliments you at your dirtiest moment.  And you know it is true love that is the cause.  Isn't it funny the things that we find attractive in our spouses?  LOL!  Do you want me to get a little personal with you?  If you say TMI, too bad.  It is my blog and I can say what I want!  Hehehehehehe!  I told my husband that I found him the most attractive when he was a dirty, sweaty mess, sitting on the tractor in his sleeveless shirt and Carhart pants.  It's true! It is a real turn on.  BLUSH :-)

 

Which brings me to my "two cents" :-)

 

Is it not true that we live in a society of instant gratification and give me attitudes?  Now, I  know that is not fact for all of America, but I would say that our country is becoming more characterized by that mentality every day.  When did this happen?  Hard work is good!  And an entire family that works together for the betterment of the family unit is beautiful, simply beautiful!

 

Here is what you need to do.  Go online to download this episode, or go to your library and check it out.  Season 2; Episode 1 "The Richest Man in Walnut Grove".  Make time to watch it.  It is only 45 minutes long.  When you are done watching, ask yourself how it made you feel about family, hard work, debt, simple living.  Feel free to share your thoughts with me.  I can talk Little House all day long.  HA!

 

If you live close to me, come on over for a movie night.  I will make my famous chocolate chip cookies for you.  :-)

 

Have a great weekend, folks!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to ride my bicycle...

Sunday afternoon, I bought a bicycle!  One of the things we were looking forward to about town living was family bike rides.  Everyone else in the family had a bike, except me.  I put off getting one all summer due to the fact that we were so overwhelmed with house remodeling.  It seemed that there was just not enough time to fit a bike ride in.

What is the big deal, you might ask?  Folks, I have not ridden a bike for 10 years!  10 years!!!!  I went for three bike rides on Sunday alone :-)  I will confess...my thighs burned after pedaling three blocks on flat road - that is how out of shape I am.  UGH!  Goodness, I remember riding my bike for miles when I was younger, and my legs didn't hurt one bit.  I am old.  :-(

Are any of my readers fans of the Walton's?  If so, you may remember Season 1; Episode 22 - "The Bicycle".  Here is the description of the episode sandwiched between two quotes from John Boy: 

"Times were hard when I was growing up in the 1930s and many people tried to escape those times by living in other worlds created for them by glossy magazines and the movies. My own family was so close and we were so involved with our everyday lives that we didn't seem to need those dream worlds. So it came as a surprise when one day we discovered our mother had a dream of her own."

Olivia is frustrated by the challenges of running the family and her household duties. She fears that she will be stuck doing dishes and mending clothes instead of singing in the church choir. When John-Boy fails to do an errand for her she makes her way down to Ike's to do it herself. Olivia sees a bicycle for sale and with Ike's prodding she gives it a try. This is just the sort of release and freedom that Olivia needs. The bicycle becomes a symbol of escape from her usual routine. She is offered the lead position in the church choir. 

"My mother never sang in grand opera but her voice never failed to fill our house with a glad song as she went about the job of caring for us all. I can still remember when the hour grew late, I would be writing in my room and she would be working at some chore in the kitchen and her voice would drift upward."

First off, let me say that I am not looking to be in a church choir.  HA!  (However I would love to author a book or be an inspirational speaker for women.)  I do understand how Olivia felt.  I identified with her on Sunday when I rode my bike for the first time - it felt freeing.  I loved the wind blowing in my face while coasting down a hill; enjoyed looking at other homes besides my own.  The fresh air was a delight.  My life can tend to feel mundane at times with my responsibilities of being a stay-at-home mom and homeschooling family.  It is amazing how one little bike ride or walk a day can give me a fresh perspective on life.  I love caring for my family and educating my children.  They are truly a blessing from the Lord.  Sometimes, we just need a reminder :-)  Getting alone with my thoughts, releasing some stress tension, and enjoying the outdoors seems to do just that!

If you can identify with some of those same feelings, get on your bike...alone...and ride like the wind!  :-)

Have a great Tuesday, folks!   

 

My Psalm...

What a difference a day can make when the enemy wreaks havoc with the mind.  I had a very good day, but one little thing happened early evening, and I let my thoughts get away from me.  My thoughts turned negative and ugly quickly.  I started to write in a notebook, and what was coming out, (in a nutshell) was how worthless I am.  I was crying horribly.  I am not sure how many of my friends know that I fight these thoughts.  But I do - a lot.  I am sure I am not alone.  I think women especially are more prone to feeling this way at times.  I will not share the first half of my writing (very depressing), but I will share the second half with you.  After I had written, "I want to run away so that my family can be happier.  Why don't I?", - God shows up.

The second half of my Psalm:

Because I love my family immensely.  After the dark thoughts fade, Jesus is there.  Calling me back to Him.  Oh, how I fight, but He is too irresistable.  He is the love I hunger for.  He is the message of hope speaking to me when my feelings are ones of defeat.  Christ reminds me of who I am and who I belong to.  I ponder the depth of the love He lavishes upon me when I am so undeserving.  What a Marvelous Light He is; which conquers the darkness that surrounds me and brings me hope yet again to believe that I am of value and worth dying for.  He loves me.  He cares for me.  He sees beauty in me.  He is coming back for me.  I love Him because He first loved me.  I am thankful for the compassion that fails not; the mercies that are new every morning; the grace that abounds; the restoring of my soul.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all of the days of my life, for I shall dwell in the house of my Lord forever. Amen. 

What would we do and where would we be without Jesus, lover of our soul?  Taste and see that the Lord is good.

He loves us well tonight.  For that, I am thankful.  Know that He loves you, too...right where you are at; in the circumstances you are in.  We are going to be okay.  Better than okay.

The Sovereignty of God is a beautiful attribute.  Knowing that He is in control of all things (even the bad times) is a comfort to me.  I would be utterly lost and a complete mess if He were not.

Not only praying for myself tonight but also the readers of this blog - and hoping you will pray for me too.  We are not in this thing called life alone.

Love to you all and have a restful weekend.

Same Prayer - Lots of Tears

God, he is yours and just on loan to me...Your will be done.

My second oldest son is graduating today.  Made it through graduation practice last night with no tears.  No such luck this morning.  I am a mess, and am not going to fare well.  Graduation at 2 pm and my eyes are already swollen.

I will be saying goodbye to him today.  A very difficult goodbye for a mama's heart to endure.  It may be a long time before I see him again, as the drive is too long.

I am proud of the Godly, young man he has become.  May God use him mightily, that my son, through Christ, may change the world for the sake of the Gospel. 

I love you, Son!  Always remember, "God made you special, very special indeed!"

*No one warned me of this part of parenting.   It is worth it.  I have been blessed beyond all the imaginations my thoughts could have taken me.

Watching With Great Joy...

The past couple days, I have tried to take my own advice to slow down and live in the moment. It has brought me more joy than I have had in a long time. I have enjoyed my children while watching, listening, and talking with them. Yesterday morning, I listened to my oldest daughter singing along with her music while getting ready to go on a trip to MN. I watched my youngest son pick up a book to read on his own several times, which blessed me greatly, as he was my late reader. He even read his own math story problems to himself, correctly answering all the problems. I saw the second youngest son step up with maturity in helping me around the house. The five of us went out to eat for dinner last night, and the boys recited Psalm 23 to Dad, then told him how they learned about Samson that day. The youngest had lots of insight accompanied with many questions about God's ways. I was smiling big on the inside.

Most of the time, I hate to confess, I am in a hurry to get things done around the house, only half listening and nodding “uh-huh” more times than not. Focusing on me or things really depletes my joy while bringing on unnecessary stress.

Do you know what I have determined? I have wonderful children, and so do you!!!

Somehow, in this hectic, fast-paced world, full of activities and running, we need to find the time - make the time - to “just be”. Sometimes we get so busy “doing” to try to give our children all the opportunities the world tells us they need to have, that we miss out on the greatest opportunity of “just being” which is the most priceless gift they must have.

Take time this week to “just be” and enjoy your kiddos. They are a precious gift from God to be trained, loved, and greatly enjoyed.

The 11th Commandment - Thou shall not eat breakfast cereal...

Do you ever feel like you do not measure up? That you are not holy enough? That you are not as good a chrisitan as your friends are? Or as good as the writers of the blogs/websites you read?

Here is another question...Is being a “good” christian even Biblical? I do not think it is. If someone were a good christian, then that means there would have to be such thing as a better christian. I think the Bible says that when we are born again, we are considered righteous in God's eyes because of the blood of Jesus that covers our sins. Can someone be more righteous? Again, not in God's eyes. Righteous is righteous, right? I do, however, believe that some christians can be more obedient than other christians, and that is a whole different story.

What does this have to do with breakfast cereal anyway? Hold on...I am getting there :-)

God made laws of which we should all abide – The 10 Commandments. We can never 100% obey them, or we would be sinless. And there is only one man I know of that did that! None the less, with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can find the strength and desire to obey. On another note, we have a personal relationship with Christ, and He works in each individual life differently, which means our lives will look differently within obeying the Lord's commands.

Christians from all around come from different cultures; have different family dynamics; hold different jobs; were purposely created with different personalities, sizes, shapes, hair color, skin color, etc; possess different giftings; battle different health issues; and on and on and on.  Obviously our lives will not look the same. So why do we get so depressed and feel worthless as though we do not measure up to others? Satan's lies for sure and human nature, of course.

I admire people who eat all organic food, choose to not have cable TV, live off-grid, have family devotions twice a day, own a family business, have students who achieve off-the-chart academics, do not use birth control...insert other admirations you have here. And until recently, I thought those people were better christians than me. More holy. More righteous. More favored. Then I realized that those kinds of thoughts held me in bondage and made me envious, then bitter, then judgemental. And, boy...did I ever turn into an ugly, self-righteous individual!  For many years – and lost friends because of it.

God is freeing me from this line of thinking and showing me that I do not have the same make-up, same lifestyle, same life circumstances, or same heritage as others. And ya know what? It is okay. It really is!  So one day, about a month ago, I stocked up on some breakfast cereal at our local Amish discount store. My budget is tight. My mornings are busy. My children like it. (I cook good evening meals anyway :-) ) Guess what? I did not turn into a pillar of salt or get consumed with fire because I did not make some healthy, green smoothie for breakfast. It works for us. God knows our situation, and he knows yours. Do not let someone else's personal convictions become your chains. Cut yourself some slack. Relax. Live. Enjoy where God has you!

A Full Embrace...

I was looking at old files and ran across something I had written five months ago as a FB post.  It had left my memory.  Oh how I needed this reminder today.  Today is my daughter's 14th birthday. Besides the birthday celebration, we had a lot on our plate..."things" and "stuff".  The joy of the day got away from me as my thoughts became worries; my worries turned into frustration; my frustration turned into anger; and I let my joy be stolen.  I did not embrace God as I should, therefore could not embrace others as I should.   I am thankful for God's loving rebuke.  I need to right my wrong and pray that this word received long ago would not be forgotten again:   

November 2013 - I woke up this morning and just stayed in bed so I could be still and pray - something I do not do near enough in the hours of a silent home. I prayed about much. I found myself praying for God to call His people to Himself and pour out His spirit on His church, His bride; for us to desire Him. Then, I said to God, “But I do not think we can fully come to you, fully desire you, unless we let 'things' go.” Immediately following, a vision came into mind. I began to chew on that vision/thought and it expanded. Have you ever tried to give someone a full embrace with your hands full? For me, I thought of how I want to give my husband a hug when he gets home, and as he pulls in the drive, I start heading for the door. But after a long day with children and housework, I find my self picking up or doing things along the way: that toy on the floor, the wrapper not thrown away, the blanket unfolded, the coat draped over the chair, timer going off on the oven...just picking these things up as I go to greet my husband. I go with the intention to fully embrace him, and all I can do is lean in toward him and give him a kiss on the cheek, because my hands/arms are too full of “stuff” - unimportant, unessential stuff.

 

What happened to the full embrace? Love given in full measure? I think this is what the church, His bride, does with Christ. We want the fullness of God, the power of God, the love of God, but we do not approach Him with empty arms. We are picking stuff up along the journey - “unimportant, unessential stuff”: money, career-driven lives, making a name for ourselves, busyness, clean house, vacations, debt, entertainment, fine dining, keeping up with the Jones's, and heavy burdens we were never expected to carry such as guilt and shame and condemnation– cumbersome loads to carry. So we pick all this stuff up and approach the throne to embrace our Creator, the supposed lover of our life, and all we can do is lean in and give a kiss on the cheek, because we will not drop the “stuff” to be able to give the full embrace. This broke my heart when God showed me this in the morning hours. But I am thankful.  I wanted to share this with my friends, because it is a loving word of encouragement. He is waiting for the full embrace with His arms wide open...are ours?

An Unexpected Oasis...

"I believe we would be happier to have a personal revolution in our individual lives and go back to simpler living and more direct thinking." - Laura Ingalls Wilder 


Some may wonder why our hearts are so drawn to Iowa. What is the big deal about corn fields and pigs anyway? In the physical realm, your question is most validated. However, in the spiritual realm, Iowa was an oasis that God chose to give to us following some difficult years of living and walking life through a desert. (I will share more about the desert life later on in blog life.)

Have you ever felt like you live something similar to the “life of Job” and just need a new start? A refreshing rain? We did. Joy came after mourning...much mourning. We were living in Illinois – my husband born and raised there/myself born in Iowa, only living there a year or so, then moving to IL. For almost 40 years, our lives were spent in IL. There were good times and bad times those years, but the latter of those were full of suffering and God was good.

Long story short – we made some wonderful friends that I still talk with today. One of those friends gave me something...the homesteading bug! It was 2006, and we met a family that lived on a farm. And I, being the Laura Ingalls fanatic that I am, watched them live life the way I had always dreamed of but had no idea how. Over the course of the friendship, I saw horses/pigs/sheep/goats being cared for; garden planted, harvested, and preserved; sewing; baking; hospitality; the love of learning; ministry; a strong faith in God accompanied with positive attitudes; and family unity and vision. AND I WANTED THAT!

God provided a job opportunity for my husband in Iowa, so in March of 2009, we loaded up the moving truck and began a new chapter in our life. Another long story short – God blessed us with a 50 acre farm which included barns, pasture, tillable land, 38 acres of timber and a river running the back of the property. It was truly a miracle!

Oh, the stories I have to share with you sometime. Any readers old enough to remember the show “Green Acres”? Ummm....that was us. Luckily, we met our 80 year old neighbors down the hill, whom we later adopted into our family. They taught us how to live farm life and was it ever good! Within 2 years, we had a garden growing both seasons; harvested fruit from our trees/grapevine; acquired chickens, 1 horse, 4 pigs (two died prematurely because we were....well...newbies, so we bought two more. And boy did they taste yummy!), our dairy cow, Annie, lots of cats, and Lily, our Australian Shepherd farm dog; hunted the property; worked on the house; rescued an abandoned deer; killed coons trying to get in the hen house...well, you get the idea.

Our family learned that living a simple life is not...simple. It is hard work. It takes family unity and vision. It takes faith. Those few years were the best years of my life. We endured the hot/humid Iowa summers in the garden. We learned that when you have livestock you will have deadstock. We saw the cycle of life throughout all of nature. We saw the importance of loving your neighbor, literally. We worked hard, physical labor, got dirty, and wiped the sweat off our brow. We were happy. We were healthy. We smiled a lot more.

Then, in a quick turn of events we had to sell the farm in 2011. Three months later, we moved to Tennessee. And in August of 2013 – we moved back to our earthly home...Iowa. And the farm adventures begin anew :-)

For those of you who asked...

With great hesitation and fear (because I am very technologically challenged), I have exceeded to the request of some of my friends to start a blog.  This is my first post of many, I am sure.  I am still trying to learn how to format my blogspot, so please be patient with me.  Through this blog, I hope to inspire your faith, make you laugh, expand your thoughts, encourage your dreams, share my musings, and vent when I have had a bad day.  May "Simply Tori Lynne" be a blessing to you as I openly share my life's journey with you from Iowa, The Great Hawkeye State.