Forever Family - Our Adoption Journey Part 1

Adoption.  A beautiful picture of the Gospel.

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.

For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father." The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs-heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.  - Romans 8:14-17

Adoption.  Messy.

My husband and I hear these types of comments all the time:

 - "You are such wonderful people to take in a child with special needs." 

 - "It takes special people to do what you did." 

 - "You two are so strong to take this on." 

 - "You are so unselfish and patient." 

 - "I could never deal with what you do every day"

My husband, Brent, and I do not want anyone to think those things of us.  None of them are true.  We are broken, messy, selfish, sinful people that God used to save a special, little girl from an orphanage in Guatemala, to bring glory to Himself and draw us closer to Him.

This is our story about how "Glendy Yulissa Hernandez" became "Brooklynne Emily Elise Lybarger".  I hope to write in an honest, transparent way, so there will be no doubt after reading, that this wonderful miracle of adoption was not because of us; rather in spite of us.  Nothing is impossible with God.

This is our daughter, Brooklynne.  Adopted from Guatemala, December 2006.  Brooklynne will turn 13 next week, the 16th of September.  Her real birth date was unknown; given an estimated birth date according to dental records.  Abused by her biological mother and grandmother.  Father unknown.  Has severe disabilities caused from brain damage (thought to be shaken baby syndrome).

In part 2, I will share how it all began over 10 years ago...  

Stop and Smell the Lilacs...

Hello, Friends!  It sure has been a long while since my last post. I have decided not to continue where I left off regarding our move from IL to IA.  Rather, I wanted to share with you what God has done with me the past six months.

God has really softened my hard and bitter heart, and He reminded me of that when on a walk with my hubby last week.  Just down the block, is a big lilac bush.  It was starting to bloom.  I LOVE LILACS!  They are my absolute favorite.  I asked hubby to stop for a minute.  I walked up close to the lilac bush and deeply inhaled the lovely lilac scent - quite a few times, I may add.  :)  I heard a woman say, "You can pick some if you would like."

"I am sorry that I was on your property smelling the lilacs," was my reply.

"No problem.  You can come pick some any time."

Hubby chimed in, "Do not tell her that, or she will strip the bush bare!"  LOL!

Well, he really is right, you know.  ;)

It is so peaceful and calming to take time to stop and enjoy what God has made and appreciate who He is...even amidst suffering, stress, and strife.  It puts things in perspective and also reminds us how important slowing down is.  Not just our physical bodies, but our minds as well.


Who I was six months ago is not who I am today.  Then, in the midst of many trials, I was angry, stressed, confused, worked up, depressed, with a "Woe is me!" and a "How much more am I supposed to take?" mindset.  I was not taking time to stop, rest, and enjoy the life God has given me.  I was complaining all the time.  I wanted control of my circumstances and had none.  There are so many times, just as a young girl is with her father, that I stomp my feet, whining, and wanting my way.  Well, let me tell you - in my 22 years of being a Christian, fit throwing never works with the Father.  He loves me enough to always fulfill His purposes in my life and not give in to my complaints.  I sure do love Him for that.  His ways are always best.

Let me give you some examples of how, through God's grace, I have been able to "let go and let God", as the saying goes:

1)  I used to be a taskmaster with keeping my home spotless and getting annoyed when it isn't.  Partly OCD/partly to have order - i.e. control.  I have really relaxed in this area.  Instead of barking orders at the children when they wake up, I take time to just talk and enjoy them.  I give up chores on weekends to spend as much time with my husband as possible.  I quit working on Sundays for the most part.

2)  Last August, my second oldest son told me he was enlisting in the Navy.  I went crazy!  You can't!  It is dangerous!  The world is a mess!  What am I going to do if I lose you?  My response to him caused him to not talk to me for a while, and I was heartbroken over it.  God let that happen, so that I would learn to trust Him with the future of my children.  My son ended up changing his mind at that time.  But just last week, he let us know he was going to join the Air Force.  The job he wants is a dangerous one.  I supported him 100%.  He is a man.  He loves God.  God knows exactly what He is doing.

3)  Sometimes, my oldest son will come to me and say that I am not going to like what he is going to tell me.  Before, I would have no problem spouting off my opinion.  With yelling of course.  Now, I just try to love him very well.

4)  Over the years, my relationship was strained with my mother-in-law.  She is battling cancer.  It is moving again.  The cancer is terminal.  Just a couple weeks ago, I asked her to forgive me for my anger and selfishness over the years, and told her that to see how she battles this cancer with her faith is an inspiration to me.  I have let the past go.  Last week, we all got together for family pictures.  It was a wonderful day.  I felt free to be me.  All weights lifted.

5)  I have had legalistic tendencies in the past and iron-fisted parenting behavior on some issues, that now I have much grace in.  Again, it is freeing.

6)  I was so mad at the "organized church" that I rebelled quite a bit at times.  Now we are members of such a loving fellowship, that I never want to miss a Sunday.

7)  Before, it seemed so burdensome to care for Brooklynne.  Now I appreciate her more and love to give her hugs and make her smile.

I used to always worry about tomorrow, but am getting a little better at taking one day at a time.

That day I stopped to smell the lilacs, I was reminded of all these things.  To just enjoy the moment.  Take each as it comes.  Enjoy my children.  Love others.

Six months ago, I hated my life.  Today, I am very content.  I would not change anything.  God had and still has good plans for me,  whether in times of joy or suffering. To Him I give all the glory.

I know difficult times will come again.  I am praying that during those times, I will stop to smell the lilacs.

*Take time to enjoy a walk.  Take your children to a park.  Go outside and visit with the neighbor.  Keep your calendar less filled with worldly things so you can minster the spiritual ones.  Roll down your windows when you are driving, and sing a song for everyone to hear.  Wave at the crossing guard you pass everyday when taking your children to school.  (I do.  :) )  Go on dates with your spouse.  Learn to laugh again.

It feels so good to smile and laugh again, folks.  Have a great evening! 

Finished Going Around that Mountain....

Hello, Friends!  Last time I blogged, our family was headed to Iowa.  I told you that the next blog would tell all about our move.  My apologies for taking so long.  I still want to share about our move and all of the farm stories that I treasure and hold dear to my heart, but first I must confess why it took so long in between posts.


Our first Iowa farm had become an idol to me - one that has been hard to lay down.  After writing all of the blogs about God providing and the story of how we got the farm, the memories came flooding back, and that idol reared its ugly head once more. I was going around that same mountain...AGAIN!  So, I took time off to deal with it.

You would think that after writing about all of God's provision, miracles, love, and faithfulness, I would be thankful in all things all of the time.  That I would trust him all of the time. That I would never question what He is doing in my life.  Well, folks, it just doesn't work that way, does it?  

When blogging, I am very particular about what picture to choose to go with my post.  It almost takes longer to choose a picture than it does to write.  The picture I chose today shows two important things:  the mountain (like the one the Israelites went around and around and around, because they could not learn from their mistakes) and spring flowers (which represent new life). 

It is a picture of me...of you...of all of us.

We are fallen humans.  We sin.  Daily.  We are just like our ancestors that go around the same mountain all the time - sinning, confessing our sins to God, only to sin again. I am so grateful that God had a plan to save us from our sins.

You know what?  I loved that farm.  We loved that farm.  None of us wanted to move.  But God had a different plan.  (I will eventually get to all of that in later blog posts.)  I was very sad and angry to have to move - away from the farm, and then away from Iowa.  I could not understand why God would take away something that brought our family such joy.  Why He would move us away to another state.  And why He would have me become a "townie" after living country life for so long.  I held on to that sadness and anger until last week.  

I knew it had been an idol.  I have been dealing with it for quite a while.  Some things just take time to work out, producing faith and patience.

As you know, God has been teaching me how to give thanks in all things.  I had been going through the motions of trying to give thanks about living in town, but my heart was not in it.

It was a beautiful week of weather last week.  After winter, it was such a blessing for me to sit out in the sun and go for walks.  I spent some time talking with my 84 year old neighbor, Stan.  I went down and met the crossing guard and told him thank you for always waving to me with a smile every morning that I take Brooklynne to school.  The children were going to the school park right across the street and playing with their friends.  Yotty's, the amazing ice cream place up town, opened up for the season.  The play practices for the children had picked up for tech week last week.  The church was only a few blocks away, so the children could walk.  

I began to think of things differently.  Appreciating the conveniences and opportunities I have by living in town.  I started to make plans for a garden in the back yard that we have not had for 2 years.  Stan offered to give me red raspberry and black raspberry bushes to plant.  I told hubby I wanted to plant a strawberry patch and pull out old bushes and replace them with things we can eat!  

I think I also talked hubby into getting an above ground pool in the backyard.  Last year, the heat induced Brooklynne's seizures, so it made going to the pool difficult.  I thought of all the friends, children and adults, that I could have over for fellowship.

I hung clothes out on my line.  Heard the birds singing.  Waved at all the cars going by, that in the beginning I loathed and was not used to.  Smiled at the children getting out of school.

I began to look back and see all that God had done everywhere we lived, and thought to myself, "I would not want it any other way."  I have made friendships and memories to last a lifetime.  Our children have learned to adapt, be flexible, and make new friends.  My family has learned that God has always been faithful and knows exactly what He is doing, and that His timing is always perfect.

I have a cute little house, in a quaint little town - where horses and buggies go down my street all the time.  The people here are friendly.  The bank teller knows me by name.  Yotty's Ice Cream is the summer social gathering place.  The children's friends can come and go at their convenience.

After years of dealing with this trek around the mountain, I can finally say that I am so thankful God has delivered me from the sin I have been holding onto since October 2011.  And now I can look forward to blogging about all the farm stories and adventures we have had since the farm without regrets or idolatry.

With this one sin, I went from the mountain to the flowers.  :)

I love my family.  I love my life.  I love Kalona.  And most of all...I really love my God.  He is so faithful.  Such a good Father, indeed!

Have a great day, folks!

Only God...

Hello, Readers.  For those of you who have been reading my blog - my apologies to leave you hangin' after my last post.  LOL!  It was truly not  intended.  For those of you who are first-time readers you will need to catch up and get important background information.  Go back to the post "Come and See What God Will Do!"  This is where the series begins, which  tells how, through miracles, the Lord provided for my family during the difficult years of 2007-2009.

Here is just a little reminder of where we left off:

 God had opened the door, in a very short span of time, for Brent to have a job interview in Iowa.  And if all went well, our family would have a fresh start in life.  A few days before the interview, while I was praying, God gave me a vision of a white house with a big, front porch.  I knew we were moving to Iowa and God had a house for us.  The day of the interview, Jeff (one of the guys from STI), told me about a country house for sale by owner.  The owners, Tim and Theresa Hoffman, were customers of STI.  Jeff thought that they may be willing to rent the house to us.  Jeff drove me by the house - it was the house in my vision!  I could not see the inside, as the Hoffman's were on a cruise.  After the interview, I drove Brent out by the house.  We were in love with the property:  50 acres - 38 timber, 10 tillable, pasture, yard, North Skunk River running through the back of the property, and lots of barns, sheds, and a chicken coop.  We went back home and waited a week to hear about the job.  Brent received a job offer which paid $15,000 more per year than his current job and would receive a $5000 moving bonus.  The following weekend, we drove back to Sigourney, IA.  We met and had lunch with the Hoffman's then headed to look at the house.

That takes us to where I left off. 

*I want to note two things that you need to remember when reading the rest of this post:

-  If you remember, due to our bankruptcy, we could not purchase a home.
-  When filling out the "Background Information" part of the application, I decided to tell the truth about our financial history.  Bob Sinclair, STI Owner, knew this before offering Brent the job.

So, we have looked at the house and head back to the Hoffman's to discuss details.  We sat down at their kitchen table.

Are you ready for this?  :)

Tim asked, "So what did you think of the house?"

"We loved it!" was our reply.

"Well, we really do not want to rent it.  I do not have time to deal with being a landlord," said Tim.

Deep sigh and sadness - but only for a moment.

I said, "We cannot buy a house at this time."

"I know all about it," said Tim.  "Bob, told us about your financial hardships."  (Bob took the time to talk with Tim and Theresa on our behalf, without us knowing.  They set all this up without us knowing.  God had orchestrated it all from start to finish, as He does our whole lives.)

Then he said, "We would like to sell it to you on contract."

Brent and I looked at each other...speechless.

"What?"  Brent asked.

Tim answered, "We would like to sell the property to you on contract.  How does $150,000 sound?"

OH MY GOODNESS!  Surely my readers know that this was an amazingly low price for 50 acres.

Sometime about now, Brent and I were in tears.  Joy and astonishment abounding...

Then Tim asked, "Can you afford $850 monthly payment?  That includes the taxes and insurance."

Brent and I again looked at each other.  We were paying $500 in IL, but we were getting a good pay increase.

"Yes, we think we can afford that." 

Then Tim said, "I would imagine you want to fix some things on the house, so we also want to give you $5000 for repairs."

WHAT?  More tears.  Overabundant joy!

I began asking questions:

"Do you want a deposit?"

"No, we trust you."

"Who should we call to get the utilities in our name," I asked.

Tim replied, "You have enough on your plate.  We will take care of that after you get moved in."

WHAT?

Then he gave us the key!  It was on a key ring that had the name "Daisy" on it.  Daisy was the barn cat on the farm.

"When can you move in?"  Tim asked.

We thought a few weeks.

I asked, "Do you want us to sign anything?"

"No."

Somewhere amongst the conversation and the tears of joy, I told them of my vision of the white house with the big, front porch.  We were all in tears.  What God just did for us, to this day, still amazes me.

Immediately, the Hoffman's and the Lybarger's became friends.  :)  The relationship we later formed was truly a beautiful one.

We left for the four-hour drive home to IL in awe and thanksgiving.  The whole time asking each other, "Can you believe what just happened?"

We were moving to Iowa!  In less than 5 weeks, we heard about a job and moved to our new farm.  Still unbelievable when I think about it.  Yet believable after all God had shown us over the years.

*Right down the hill of our new farm, is where Tim Hoffman grew up.  He was a farmer and owned fields by our new home.  While he and Theresa were building their new home a couple miles away, they stayed in the house we were buying.

The story never really ends.  In my blog posts that follow, I will be sharing about our move, the miracles yet to come, and things the Lord taught us while living on a homestead. 

The "Going Home" Miracle - The Rest of the Story

Hello!  If this is your first time reading my blog, you best not start here.  :)  To catch up and get important background information, go back to the post "Come and See What God Will Do!"  This is where the series begins, which  tells how, through miracles, the Lord provided for my family during the difficult years of 2007-2009.

Well...I left you hangin', didn't I?  Let's see - where did we leave off?  Ah, yes, here it is - the last paragraph of the second half of part 4 in our series:

"We met the family for supper and told them all about the day.  Sunday we made the four-hour drive home, still not knowing if Brent would get the job offer and no other details about the house."

*I forgot to share a couple details in the first half of the story:

1) We were given some application paperwork to take home, fill out, and fax back to Sigourney Tractor and Implement (STI), IA. 

2)  Brent was told he would hear about the service manager position in about a week.

This is what our timeline looks like as of now:

Monday afternoon - I talk with my brother, who lives in IA, about renting his flip house (joking).  Start thinking about living near my family; ask children what they think; they love the idea.

Monday evening - I tell Brent about the day's events.

Tuesday noon - Brent comes home for lunch.  He had looked on the work website and found three John Deere Service Manager positions available in IA.  One is the perfect location.

Tuesday afternoon - I call the contact person (Bob Sinclair, owner) for the job to get information and brag about hubby's accomplishments.  :)  He wants to talk to Brent.

Tuesday evening - Brent talks with Mr. Sinclair.  He wants to interview Brent that coming Saturday.

Friday morning - leave for Iowa.

Saturday morning - interview, tour of the town.

Saturday afternoon - While Brent is testing, some men from the store take Brooklynne and me to lunch.  I talk with Jeff about rental houses.  He tells me that some customers of theirs have a house for sale, but thought they would be interested in renting it to us.  After lunch, Jeff takes me to see it - THE HOUSE FROM MY VISION:  the white house with the big, front porch!

Saturday late afternoon - After the interview/testing process, I take Brent by the house. 

Saturday evening - We have supper with family in Iowa City.

Sunday - We drive home.

Monday - I fill out the paperwork and fax it back to the owner.

*Important information you need to know about the paperwork we filled out and faxed back to STI:  the application/paperwork was routine, but there was one part that made me a little worried - the background check.  We had nothing on our records, except the bankruptcy.  Would that show?  What would the owner think?  Does it hurt Brent's character?  What should I do?  Well...I told the truth.  I wrote down our story - the bankruptcy, the sinful financial choices, the adoption expenses - all of it!  I took a chance.

Now we wait...and wait...and wait.  Thinking, praying, talking, wondering, dreaming.

So, we are now to the following Monday - 1 week 2 days since the interview.  Brent decided to give Jeff a call.  He was second in charge at STI.  Jeff told Brent that he was going to get in touch that day.  They wanted Brent to come back for a second interview on Tuesday (the next day) and to make him a job offer!

Brent took the next day off and headed back to Iowa.  I waited all day to hear from him.  Finally, late afternoon, I got the call.  $15,000 more a year than his current job (salary) AND a $5000 moving bonus!!!  My head was spinning. I could not believe it; but I could believe it.  Ya know what I mean?  God providing again.

I think it was the next day that Jeff called, and told Brent that the couple (Tim and Theresa Hoffman) that owned the country home for sale wanted to meet our family that Saturday!  We were to meet Jeff and he would have us follow him to their home, where we would have lunch.  Then we would go look at the house.  Now remember, I have only seen the outside of the house.

The Hoffman's are one of the nicest couples I have ever met in my life.  We had a nice lunch.  Theresa fell in love with all of the children right away.  We felt very comfortable in their home.

After lunch, we drove over to the house.  It was only a couple miles down the road.  I remember it to be a rainy day.

First the inside - it was an old farm house.  3 bedrooms, one "other" room, 1 1/2 baths, large kitchen, dining room, and living room, enclosed back porch, and a basement good for storage only.  I loved the layout.  It needed updated for sure and the main bath needed a lot of work.  There was green shag carpet on the stairs and in one bedroom, and red shag in one of the other bedrooms.  The rest was hardwood floors.  The laundry hook ups were on the enclosed back porch.  The kitchen floor needed replaced, badly.

God had truly worked a miracle in our hearts.  We used to try to "keep up with the Jones's; now we didn't care - and we loved this old farm house!

Now for the outside:  50 acres:  38 timber, 10 tillable, pasture, yard, North Skunk River running through the back of the property.  Also on the property was a big barn with cement floors, stalls, original milking stanchions; two other barns in the pasture, a two-room chicken coop (told it was the deluxe model in its time); a huge machine shed; another small shed; a garage.

WE LOVED IT!!!

Now, we needed to head back to the Hoffman's to discuss details.  The story takes a big turn.

Stay tuned...


















  

The "Going Home" Miracle...



Good Morning!  As, previously mentioned in prior posts - my current readers know that I have started a series on how, through miracles, God provided for my family during the difficult years of 2007-2009.  If this is your first time visiting, please go back and read the previous posts to catch up on all of our background information.  :)

If you have read parts 1-4, you can probably understand how tired we were from the years of trials and heartache.  You know how sometimes you feel like you just need a fresh start?  We sure did.  How God moved in February/March of 2009 was really, and I mean REALLY, a miracle.

Well...let's begin!

But first a side note:  Did you know that I am a native to Iowa?  I was born in Waterloo.  Only lived in Iowa the first year or so of my life.  Then my folks moved to Illinois - where I lived 38 years of my life.  Almost all of my extended family live in Iowa.

As you know, we were living in central IL.  In November, 2008, my four brothers and their families made the drive from Iowa to come to my home for Thanksgiving.  I was so blessed to have them over.  I love my brothers dearly and realized just how much I missed being close to them.

Fast forward to February 2009.  My brother, Brandon, had bought a flip house in Muscatine, IA, that he was working on to obviously turn around and sell.  Also, his wife was pregnant at that time.  I was talking with him on the phone one February day, and joked around with him saying that he should rent us his flip house, and I could babysit for the new little one to come.  As I got off the phone and pondered what it would be like to live near my family, it made me most happy, and got me to thinkin'!  ;)

After being off the phone a while, I gathered the children together and casually asked them, "Would you like to live near your uncles?"  I then proceeded to tell them about my conversation with Brandon.  Nothing more to it, so I thought.

Well, less than a half hour later, the children came downstairs chanting, "Let's move to Iowa.  Iowa rules!"  They were dressed head to toe in Hawkeye apparel and had made signs saying, "Iowa Rules!"  No joke.  (We have ALWAYS been Hawkeye fans.)  :)

Later that night (a Monday I believe), when Brent got home from work, I told him all about our afternoon.  He rather liked the idea.  But honestly, how could we ever move?  We had no money.  We had no credit due to the bankruptcy.  And, how would my husband find a job?

The next night (Tuesday), Brent came home from work with some news.  (If you remember, he was the service manager for our local John Deere Dealer.)  He had gotten onto the John Deere website that posted service manager jobs available across the country.  He clicked on Iowa.  Three service manager positions available.  Two of them were on the Iowa/Nebraska border, which would not work.  The other one - Southeast Iowa - which means, if you pinpoint where my brothers lived, the job opening was within an hour of 3 of them, and only a couple hours from the other.

Now, the interesting thing, is that we were actually planning a drive to Iowa to hook up with my brothers and aunts/uncles/cousin at Old Country Buffet in Iowa City that coming Saturday.

Brent had the contact name to call for the John Deere store in Sigourney, Iowa.  Bob Sinclair, owner.  However, Brent did not have time to call him from work.  Being the impatient and insistent lady that I am, I gave the owner a call on my husband's behalf, with his approval of course.  ;)  I talked with Mr. Sinclair for an hour!  He was asking me all kinds of questions, as I was promoting all my husband's experience, accomplishments, and awards won as a service manager in both the auto and agriculture industry.  I am hubby's biggest cheerleader.  ;)

I must have done a good job, because Mr. Sinclair wanted to meet Brent right away.  I told him we were going to be in Iowa over the weekend.  He wanted to talk with Brent that night.  Brent was on the phone a looooong time.   After getting off the phone, he let us know that he had an interview Saturday morning, the same weekend we were meeting with family.  Mr. Sinclair also told Brent to bring his wife to the interview.

Oh, this is only the beginning of the story.....keep reading.

We were all excited.  Of course, we talked about all the scenarios and what if's that were playing out in our minds.  Brent and I were praying.   It would take a miracle to move us.  We had no idea what to expect.  We had not even had the interview, but knew we wanted to move - a fresh start.

As I was in prayer (mid-week), seeking God to help us make wise decisions and to reveal His will to us, I was given a vision.  I am serious...a vision.  All I saw in my mind, was a white house with a big front porch.  I went out to Brent and said, "We are moving to Iowa, and God has a house for us."

We did not have good internet service at the time, but I did a little looking at what rental prices were like in the area the job was located.  Couldn't find much, but was able to get a hold of one man with a rental house available in the country.  We set up a time to meet him Friday afternoon.

So, Brent took Friday off.  We drove to Iowa and met the man with the rental.  He was a nice guy.  The house was a consideration.  We decided to drive to Sigourney and look at the town and find out where the John Deere Store was located.  After that, we headed to my brother's house.  We stayed the weekend with him.  Saturday morning, Brent, Brooklynne, and I headed to the interview.  The other children stayed with my brother.  We were to hook up in Iowa City with family later that evening.

We arrived to Sigourney Tractor and Implement (STI) mid-morning, and were greeted warmly.  Mr. Sinclair took us into his office and we visited some - get to know you things.  I had no idea that he had set up a local "friend/customer/realtor" to take me out for the rest of the morning to tour the little Iowa town and show me houses for sale!  Well, after talking with him, Brent went to get a tour of the store and take some tests.  Brooky and I went out on the town.

Keep in mind, folks, this is small town Iowa.  :)  Toured the downtown (which has a nice square); drove by the city park/ball fields, the local restaurants (George's has the best pizza!), the schools; shown the houses for sale in the community.  Didn't take long,  ;)  But I liked it!

I felt badly about the houses for sale part, however, as I had to tell my "tour guide" that we were unable to buy a house at that time and needed to find something to rent.

After the tour, I went back to the store.  Brent was still testing, so a few guys offered to take Brooky and me out for lunch up town at George's.  One of the men was named Jeff.  Very outgoing and friendly man.  We talked a lot at lunch.  I mentioned to Jeff that we could not buy a home and instead needed to find a rental.  I also asked him if he knew the man (I gave Jeff his name) that showed us the rental house to see if he knew anything about him. 

Jeff replied, "No, I do not know him.  But if you are looking for a place, I know of  a house for sale.  The couple selling are customers of ours.  I am sure they would rent it to you.  It is just south of town a couple miles.  I will drive you out there after lunch."

Folks, you need to remember that back in IL, I had caught the homesteading bug.  Also, I am a Little House/pioneer fan and my husband is an avid bow hunter.

Well...we took a drive south a couple miles and pulled up to a house in the country.  I about died.  Can you guess?  It was the white house with the big front porch!  The one in my vision! 

The house was empty, as the owners, Tim and Theresa Hoffman, had just built a new house a few country blocks over.  Jeff thought the house would be unlocked, but it wasn't.  He called the Hoffman's to see if they could show us the house (that was for sale - not totally for sure they would rent).  They were on a cruise and would be back next week.

I told Jeff, "This is our house!  I do not care what the inside looks like.  It's ours."

I went back to the store.  Brent was finished testing.  Mr. Sinclair gave him some papers that we needed to fill out and fax back, and told Brent that he would get back to him next week. 

I told Brent about the house and that he needed to see it.

"Brent, it is the house I saw in the vision!"

We drove by it.  His jaw dropped.  We looked at the property.  50 acres:  38 acres timber, 10 acres tillable, pasture, yard, barns...

We met the family for supper and told them all about the day.  Sunday we made the four hour drive home - still not knowing if Brent would get the job offer and no other details about the house.

Stay tuned for the second half of part 4.  You will never believe what happened the 2 weeks following.  It will knock your socks off...   ;)







      

The Miracle of Friendship and Meager Beginnings...

Good Afternoon!  My current readers know that I have started a series on how, through miracles, God provided for my family during the difficult years of 2007-2009.  If this is your first time visiting, please go back and read the previous posts to catch up on all of our background information.  :)

I had planned to share a different miracle for this "Part 4" post in the series, but the Lord has led me to share this instead.  

In upcoming "Part 5", our lives turn a page with a big move, and God's miraculous provision will leave you in awe.  Before turning that page, however, I felt the need to share about the miracle of friendship, as well as something else God did for us before leaving Illinois.

I want you to know, that although I was blessed by God's provision for our family, I was still a train wreck.  My mental and physical health were deteriorating.  The stress was causing a strain on my marriage.  My children were hurting.  Most days I was crying.  I was depressed and desperate.  Life had not been easy - even way before 2007.  I ended up needing to get a prescription for sleeping pills and an anti-depressant.

But I must tell you...looking back, I would not trade that time for anything.  In prayer last week, the Lord spoke these words to me:  "A Father gives good gifts to His children.  Often, it is the most difficult times in life that are the best gifts of all."

This is so true.  I have found that the most intimate times with my Father and growth in my spiritual life have been when walking through suffering, tragedy, hardships, and grieving.

I believe that fellowship with the brethren, the friendships knit in Christ, are truly a miracle.  The blog pic for today reads, "Friendship - a blessing of connection for a season, a reason, or a lifetime."  God knows exactly what we need at all times, which includes putting the exact people we need in our lives at the perfect time and for the perfect length of time.  He did that for me.

Without the friendships, prayer, and encouragement of the saints, I would not have made it through the difficult times in life.  God has given His children a family - a beautiful family - a family that lives together sharing each other's cares and burdens; giving to those who have need; lifting up each other's arms when we are weak.

The Scripture says, "This is my commandment that you love one another, that your joy may be full." - John 15 (paraphrased) and "Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brethren dwell together in unity." - Psalm 133:1

I am grateful to have so many true friends that have loved me through the good times and the hard times; forgiven me much when I was very prideful; put up with me when I whined and complained; encouraged me when I thought I had lost all hope. 

We must never forget that our brethren, the Bride of Christ, is indeed a miracle never to be taken for granted.

As I said earlier, the next blog will tell about our leaving Illinois.  I would like to acknowledge some dear friends that made a huge impact in my life when I became a believer in Christ in 1994 all the way up to our leaving Illinois in 2009.  After that, I want to share one thing more that God did in the area of providing - something so little that became something so sweet.

Thank you:

New Horizon Christian Church, Heyworth, for showing me what a loving/caring family looks like.

Sandy Presley, for all of our walks/talks/memories and for modeling and showing me how to love my children well.

Phil and Stacie, for showing us how to be good neighbors.

Corry and Stephanie Ijams, for showing us what generous giving and helping others looks like even when you were in need yourselves.

El Paso Boy Scout Troop, for all of the fond memories and pouring into our boys - and the yummy pork chops. :)

Teresa Davis, for teaching me about hospitality, for always speaking truth and encouragement to me, and being a devoted friend.

Ladies of the Discipling Women Group, for the sweetest time of fellowship on Wednesday mornings, where I learned about freedom in worship, intercessory prayer, and where the Word of God was alive and active.

My Bloomington/Normal Homeschool Group, for all of the women who helped me get started homeschooling and encouraged Godly marriages and families.

The Mom's Night Out Group, for such spirited conversations and debates.  We were a bold, feisty, outgoing group of gals.  (I miss this group a lot!)

Maureen Barnes, for your bravery to speak boldly, for showing me what a servant looks like, and for always loving my family and encouraging me with Brooklynne.

Jim/Cheryl Wacker and Justine Hodel, for your generous giving to our family in time of need.

Lonnie Ulrich, for giving me the "homesteading bug", but more importantly for showing me what it looks like to walk in grace, optimism, meekness, gentleness, and humility, giving thanks in all things.

*And I want to thank the older generation of folks that taught me the importance of loving the elderly:  Larry and Martha Bell, Ken and Millie Simons, Russel and Betty Kreig, Merle and Fern Simpkins, Jim and Gin Cates.

Now...there are so many more ways that God provided for us, but I want to share one more in particular.

When we moved to the country rental house, we had a big kitchen and a dining room.  I only had one table that we had bought when our oldest was two years old.  22 years later, we still have that table.  Anyhow, the kitchen and dining room were not right next to each other, and I thought it would be more convenient to have a table in the kitchen.  Of course we could not afford one.

Also at this time, Goodwill had become our best friend.  If we needed something, we would always pray before leaving, that Goodwill would have it - be it a belt for Bailee, shoes for the boys, or a toy for a gift.

So one day we headed out to Goodwill.  After getting into the store, we noticed a table for sale.  It was very large.  It was $30.  It was nothing special at all and had no matching chairs.  But I loved it.  The fact that I loved it showed that God had been working in my heart.  If you remember, we used to be ones to "keep up with the Jones's" wanting everything to look nice.  No more of that.  We had become practical and thankful for just having our needs met. 

I asked my husband if we could please get the table and he said yes!  We loaded it in our truck, along with a few old chairs we had found as well and headed home.  I thought my table and mismatched chairs looked lovely.

Now, at this time, I was trying to save money, and decided that it may be cheaper to bake my own cookies, which I had never done, by the way.  We were faithful Aldi shoppers.  We used to buy Chip's Ahoy chocolate chip cookies, but I saw a bag of chocolate chips with a recipe on the back for cookies and decided I would give it a try.  If you have ever had my chocolate chip cookies, you know they were a hit!  My children loved eating those cookies and they loved helping make them as well.  We would all meet at the kitchen table to make cookies several times a week for our friends that would come over to visit.

So that $30 table from Goodwill became the table that started my chocolate chip cookie ministry.  Friends pretty much know that if you come to my house, there will be yummy, gooey, chocolate chip cookies to eat.  Many a conversation has taken place while enjoying my baked cookies.  Some conversations included laughter, tears, story telling, prayer...but always love.

A $30 table and homemade cookies...who woulda thought???

Never despise meager beginnings.  :)

Have a great week, folks!   

Miracles That Leave You Speechless...

Good afternoon!  For my regular readers, this is part 3 in the series, "How God provides for our needs during times of financial hardship", where I use personal examples of miracles God performed for my family during the difficult years of 2007-2009.  If this is your first time visiting my blog spot, I would strongly suggest you read the posts entitled, "Come and See What God Will Do" and "Our 2008 Christmas Angel" to get all the background information.

I need to go back in time, when my husband (Brent) was working for an amazing and generous owner of an automobile dealership, to set the stage for this post.  When Brent was promoted to Service Manager, not only did he have a good salary, but he was also given a demo car to drive - gas paid.  It was like having a second vehicle and not having a car payment/insurance policy/or gas while driving it.  We had that perk for 8 years. 

If you remember, my husband had to leave that job due to a change in ownership.  He found a job as a manager for an outdoor sports store in our little, Illinois town.  If you also remember, we took a $30,000 down grade in pay.  However, Brent did talk the owner of that business into providing a demo (an older truck) for him to use, just as he had at the auto dealer.  What was so appealing about this job, was that there was an opportunity down the road for my husband to buy into the business and become a partner.  Although our budget took a huge hit, and we were in the middle of the adoption process, we all liked this new job Brent had.  He worked a few blocks away, was home for lunch every day, had our oldest son working by his side remodeling and cleaning up the business, and made the business very organized and productive.

It was during this time that we knew bankruptcy was in our near future and had moved to the country house we had found to rent 20 minutes away from our previous home.  The job was going well, until one day, my husband found out some bad news.   He came home one night and told me that there was another man that was part owner of that business that he was unaware of.  That man had taken out a ghost loan on the business without the main owner knowing.  The loan was such, that the business would never really prosper.  This took away the dream of Brent becoming a partner.

We kept our eyes open for another job.   One day, I was reading our small town paper (we are now living in the country rental house) and saw an advertisement for help needed at the local John Deere Store.  Brent called, and the owner wanted to speak with him right away.  After the interview, the owner thought Brent to be over qualified for the job, but opened up a place for him to be their service manager.  So, he switched from managing automobiles to agriculture. 

Brent was going to have the same salary as he had at the outdoor sports store, but we lost the demo, our second vehicle.  Fortunately, the John Deere store was less than 10 minutes from our country home.  Our budget was all ready bursting at the seams.  We had no credit due to the bankruptcy.  We had no money for another car.

 By this time it was 2007 (or was it 2008?).  Anyhow, our adoption process was finalized December 2006.  We now had 6 children in the home ranging from ages 1 to 15, with one vehicle - our red suburban.  Since work was close, Brent just drove the truck to work.  If I needed to go somewhere that day, either I would take him to work in the morning or take him back after his lunch hour and pick him up after work.  I hardly left the house, as the gas portion of the budget was small. 

Bare with me, as I have to backtrack just a bit.  Bailee had started taking ballet at age 3.  She was a natural.  The owners of the ballet company, Mr. and Mrs. "B", not only gave lessons, but were also professional performers and travelled all over the country.  They were a Christian family and homeschooled their daughters.  I developed a relationship with Mrs. "B" and she came to love Bailee.  When we hit our financial crisis, I had to tell Mrs. "B" that I could not afford ballet lessons any longer.  She hated to see Bailee leave and offered to give lessons to her for free!  (another miracle.)

Back to the story.  Over the summer of , our second oldest son, Blake, was playing baseball for our small town.  We met a lot of nice folks.  We became friends with a couple named Jim and Cheryl.  Their son was Blake's age.  They lived in town, but apparently were planning on moving to the country in the next couple of years.  They were going to fix up a house that was right around the country block from us.  Jim's uncle actually owned the house, but had to go into a nursing home. Jim was listed to inherit the house.

 At this time, Brooklynne (our adopted daughter), was in preschool a couple hours a day.  She would ride the bus to and from school - except on Wednesdays.  Bailee had ballet lessons on Wednesday afternoons.  So on Wednesdays, I would take my husband back to work after lunch and keep the suburban so I could pick up Brooky from school and head straight to ballet (which was 45 minutes away) and then pick up Brent after work.

One day in particular, we ended up not being able to go to ballet.  Now, the school knew not to put Brooklynne on the bus on Wednesdays, unless I called to do otherwise.  Well, guess what?  I forgot to tell the school that I was not going to pick up Brooklynne.  I got a call from the school asking where I was  Oh, my!  They did not put her on the bus!  I needed to pick her up.  I had no vehicle.  Good grief!

I had to think quickly.  I ended up calling Cheryl.

"I have a big favor to ask you.  You are not going to believe what I did.  I forgot to pick up Brooklynne and have no way to get her home.  Could you pick her up and bring her to our house?"

And she did.  We sat on the couch and I explained the story to her.  We laughed as I shared that I was sure the school thinks that I am the worst parent ever for forgetting to pick up our special needs child from school!  :)

That night at the supper table, I shared the day's events with my husband.  As we were rinsing dishes, there was a knock at our kitchen window, which was strange, as the kitchen was at the back of the house.  We looked out the window, and there was Jim and Cheryl.

We invited them in and asked what they were doing at our house so late at night.  As we sat on the couch, Jim said that  Cheryl had shared with him what had happened that afternoon.  He said that he and his wife had talked., and that at his uncle's house, (the one right around the corner from us) sat a car in the garage that was not being used.  He said that they would like to give it to us.  That is was not the nicest car, but it ran.

We were astonished; speechless; moved to tears.

It was an old, gold Mazda.  To most folks, it would have been a junky car.  To us, it was beautiful - a token of God's love, affection, and provision for our family.

We drove that car proudly until it could no longer run.

Folk's, I cannot make this stuff up.  I hadn't even prayed for a second car.  I was trying to be content with one.  God knew before I even asked.  He will do the same for you.

Have a great evening!

Tori Lynne



  



      

Our 2008 Christmas Angel...

Good Afternoon!  In my previous post entitled, "Come and See What God Will Do!", I began blogging a series about "miraculous examples of how God provided the big and the little things for our family during the years 2007-2009."  If you have not read this post, I strongly suggest you do so before reading this one.  It gives important background information and sets the stage for the miracles God was to perform in our lives during this time.

As you know from the previous post, we adopted a little girl from Guatemala and went through a major financial crisis leading to bankruptcy, leaving us with no credit - cash on the barrel living; which was very new to us.  The previous post also shares miracle #1.  :)  The following is what was not shared in that post:

1.  We brought our daughter, Brooklynne (estimated age 3), home from Guatemala the week before Christmas 2006.  We knew about her past - abandonment, malnourishment, neglect, abused by her mother/grandmother, and that she had to have surgery where 2 cups of blood were drained from her brain.  Before the surgery, all she could do was sit and cry.  The orphanage told us that after her surgery, she started to crawl/walk, say mama/papa, play with her toys, that school may be a little difficult, and that she should be able to live on her own.  Short story:  Brooklynne is severely disabled, nonverbal, not potty trainable, cannot do anything on her own, has seizures, and will never be able to live on her own.
Needless to say, the next two years were difficult.  We were angry and heartbroken.  We took Brooklynne to a developmental specialist who did NOT have a good bedside manner.  He was abrupt, rude, and the farthest thing from compassionate.  After a very quick look at Brooky and a small test, he said, "She is mentally retarded.  I suggest you put her in school, get an education plan, and when she is an adult, put her in a home."  Then he left the room.  I went home in tears.  We had just moved to our new rental house after losing everything, new in the community, and had no one.

2.  The new financial situation, Brooklynne, and everything else life threw our way, had my marriage on the rocks.  Those couple years were the worst for my husband and I.  There were so many days that we both wanted to give up on each other, but we loved Christ and our children more.  Those two things held us together.

3. Late summer of 2007, our oldest son left home.  We were all grieving something awful.  I was literally on the verge of a breakdown.  One day, my four year old son was so upset about his brother leaving, he just ran out of the house crying.  I lost it.  I called our social worker and told her my family was falling apart and I could not take care of Brooklynne any more.  This is a story within itself to save for another time.  For now, all you need to know, is that the social worker set up a meeting with a family that wanted to adopt Brooky.  We almost went through with it, until God intervened.

4.  My mental health was so poor, I had to go on sleeping pills and an anti-depressant.

5.  In mid-December 2008, my father-in-law died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack.  It was devastating to our family.

But God...

was healing my broken marriage, and by mid 2008, our marriage was in the process of being restored.  

was putting people in our lives that would produce life-long friendships.

was healing our family.

So we are now to Christmas 2008.  (If you remember from my previous post, God was teaching me to pray, telling no one but Him our needs).  We were still flat broke and the budget falling short.  The boys needed jeans.  The girls needed clothes.  We did not go many places, as we had a very small gas budget.  I needed down time.  Almost everything for Christmas that year was bought from Goodwill or a garage sale. 

Earlier that fall, as I was making a trip to Goodwill, I passed a yard sale.  I took a glance and saw a white, wicker vanity that I thought Bailee would love.  I stopped to take a closer look and bought it at a very good price.  I brought it home but needed a place to hide it.  I called my neighbor (the one God used for Miracle #1) to see if I could keep it at her house until Christmas.  A couple days later, I took the vanity over to her house while on my way to Walmart.  I had my Walmart list made - only needs, of course - one of those needs being hats/mittens for the children.  When I stopped by the neighbor's house to drop off the vanity, she said that she had gone through some boxes and found these - a bag full of hats and mittens!  God reminded me that there was nothing too small to ask Him for, as I did not even think of praying for hats/mittens.  But He provided them anyway.  Bailee still has the vanity - 7 years later.

Oh, there is more!!!!!  :)

It was a week day, a few days before that same Christmas 2008.  The children and I were at home doing our school work.  There was a knock on our country door.  We all went to see who it was.  There was a man with a big box.

He asked, "Is this the Lybarger home?"

"Yes, it is," I replied.

"I am from FedEx.  I have a package for you."

We had no idea what it was or who sent it.  We were so excited, that all I remember is saying thank you to the man then looking over the box.  He left.  On top of the box, it said, "Lybarger's".

I thought, "Wait.  There is no address on this package - and no postage.  This isn't even a FedEx box.  As a matter of fact, he was driving a car!  What on earth?" 

Of course, we had to wait for Dad to get home.  The anticipation was too much.  That night we opened the box.  In the box were individual gifts personally tagged for each member of our family.  We opened our gifts.  Are you ready for this?  In the box was a corduroy, flannel-lined shirt and a $50 gas card for my husband; a pair of jeans (their exact size) and a shirt for the boys;  outfits for the girls and a little ballerina figure for Bailee, who was taking ballet at the time; and bubble bath/lotion for me.

Exactly what we needed.

I tried to find out who sent that box.  I called all of my closest friends to see if it was them.  Nope.  As a matter of fact, one friend said, "I wish I could say I did, but I didn't.  Whoever sent the package wants to remain anonymous.  I would leave it that way."

To this day, our family believes it was a Christmas Angel, sent by God, to show His love, faithfulness, and provision to a broken family that needed some joy in their lives that year.  It was the best Christmas ever!

I just cannot make this stuff up.  Believe in miracles.

Have a great night, folks.

Tori Lynne



  





 

"Come and See What God Will Do!"

I am so excited!  Today I am going to start blogging a series regarding how God provides for our needs during those financially-strapped times when the budget falls way short.  I will be using miraculous examples of how God provided the big and the little things for our family during the years 2007-2009. 

As I mentioned in my previous two posts, God is showing me how to be thankful in all things and live life free from the woulda, coulda, shoulda's of yesterday.  This has caused me to look back at a difficult time in life and see that God was truly with us.

Let me give you some background, before I share the first miracle.  In 2006, we started the process to adopt Brooklynne.  Up to that point, we had fallen prey to "Keeping up with the Jones's".  My husband had a good job, making good money.  We started buying "things".  You know - décor, furniture, "toys", clothes, cars...  My husband's boss (who was an amazing man by the way) ended up selling his auto dealership, in the middle of our adoption process.  After that, everything went downhill fast.  My husband had to find a new job, as the new owner was looking to rid employees who made too much money.  He found a job, but we took a $30,000 paycut.  We went from $80,000 to $52,000 a year - with no time to prepare.  I do not work outside the home, as I stay home with the children and homeschool.  At the time, I had all 6 children still at home- the oldest being 15, the youngest just shy of 1 year. 

We had barely enough to pay the bills, as we had lived as though we would always have an $80,000 income, not saving a penny.  Groceries and gas were expensive for our large family.  We were in the middle of a $40,000 adoption, hoping to raise money and counting on donations, but fell way short, and it was put on a credit card.  We were charging everything from birthday/Christmas gifts, to eating out, to cash advances to pay the bills.  *Note - we had excellent, spotless credit, never late on one payment...ever.  Long story short - we got into so much credit card debt, and no way out (according to the credit counselor), we knew bankruptcy was in our future. 

However, we had to hold off until the adoption was complete, otherwise we would have lost the opportunity to adopt Brooklynne.  We decided to let our house go and found a rental instead.  We did find a home in the country on some acres in a little town 20 minutes away.  Brooklynne came home December 2006. and a few short months later, we started the bankruptcy process - still having spotless credit.  Now, we had no credit at all.  No credit cards.  Cash on the barrel only.  We had never lived that way before.

Now let me say this:  I know we sinned greatly with the money God had blessed us with.  I am not proud of having to file bankruptcy.  But I am being honest with you, as I am sure many folks are in the same situation.  I want to encourage you today.  I am thankful for that time, because God showed us that He does indeed provide.

Now that the much needed information has been shared, let's move on to the best part!

I was homeschooling all children but the oldest.  I had put him into high school when we adopted Brooklynne, as I was overwhelmed at the time.  For school, we were studying Geography by reading books about missionaries.  We started reading about George Muller, 1805-1898.  If you have not read about him, go get the book right away.  Wow!  Let me give you a quote off the back of the book:

"With scarcely enough food or money for his own family, George Muller opened his heart and home.  Sustained by God's provision, the Muller house "Breakfast Club" of the thirty orphans grew to five large houses that ultimately over ten-thousand children would call home.  George Muller trusted God with a depth rarely seen.  His faith and generosity set a standard for Christians of all generations."

Note that Muller never shared his needs with others.  He prayed to God alone.  I found myself crying everyday while reading this book to the children.  I was convicted, broken, and inspired all at the same time.

Well, money was very tight.  There was never any extra it seemed.  I was so moved by George Muller's prayer life, I decided that I would do the same and take my prayers to God only, not letting anyone know the specific need we had.

Before I go on, you need to know that we are a close family.  We do everything together and support everyone's activities.  When someone is having a game, we all go to watch.  That is just what we do.  Well, our oldest son began playing basketball at the high school.  I was so upset because I had no idea how we could pay for everyone to get into the games.  It was so important to me that we go - together- as a family - to support our son.  I decided to take it to God alone, in tears, asking Him to provide something that seems so small to others, but meant so much to us.

Remember...no one knows this need.  A few days later, our neighbor just down the country block, called me mid-morning.  Basketball games had not started yet, just practices.  She had four children about the same ages as some of ours, and our two oldest boys were on the same basketball team.  She said she was going through clothes and found some winter coats that she thought we would like for our girls when they got a little older.  I told her how kind that was of her and thanked her.  She drove up to our home and knocked on the door.  She was not a very talkative person, but indeed, a very kind one.  She gave me the coats.  We talked a couple minutes.  As she got ready to leave, she handed me an envelope.  I asked, "What is this?"

She said, "Do not open it until I leave."

She left.  I opened.  FAMILY SEASON PASSES TO ALL HOME BASKETBALL GAMES!

It was truly a miracle!  I had not shared that need with anyone, but God.  It was the first miracle of many we would see those next 2 years.

Oh, God is so faithful.  He knows our needs and desires.  He is good all the time.  I am so thankful for going through those financial struggles, otherwise we would never have experienced the series of miraculous provision.  He forgave our sins and proved Himself loving and forgiving time and time again.

I have goose bumps just remembering.  I hope this blesses you.  I will share one miracle each blog after this to encourage you and me to trust the Lord in all things.

Have a great weekend, Folks!

Tori Lynne