My Psalm...

What a difference a day can make when the enemy wreaks havoc with the mind.  I had a very good day, but one little thing happened early evening, and I let my thoughts get away from me.  My thoughts turned negative and ugly quickly.  I started to write in a notebook, and what was coming out, (in a nutshell) was how worthless I am.  I was crying horribly.  I am not sure how many of my friends know that I fight these thoughts.  But I do - a lot.  I am sure I am not alone.  I think women especially are more prone to feeling this way at times.  I will not share the first half of my writing (very depressing), but I will share the second half with you.  After I had written, "I want to run away so that my family can be happier.  Why don't I?", - God shows up.

The second half of my Psalm:

Because I love my family immensely.  After the dark thoughts fade, Jesus is there.  Calling me back to Him.  Oh, how I fight, but He is too irresistable.  He is the love I hunger for.  He is the message of hope speaking to me when my feelings are ones of defeat.  Christ reminds me of who I am and who I belong to.  I ponder the depth of the love He lavishes upon me when I am so undeserving.  What a Marvelous Light He is; which conquers the darkness that surrounds me and brings me hope yet again to believe that I am of value and worth dying for.  He loves me.  He cares for me.  He sees beauty in me.  He is coming back for me.  I love Him because He first loved me.  I am thankful for the compassion that fails not; the mercies that are new every morning; the grace that abounds; the restoring of my soul.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all of the days of my life, for I shall dwell in the house of my Lord forever. Amen. 

What would we do and where would we be without Jesus, lover of our soul?  Taste and see that the Lord is good.

He loves us well tonight.  For that, I am thankful.  Know that He loves you, too...right where you are at; in the circumstances you are in.  We are going to be okay.  Better than okay.

The Sovereignty of God is a beautiful attribute.  Knowing that He is in control of all things (even the bad times) is a comfort to me.  I would be utterly lost and a complete mess if He were not.

Not only praying for myself tonight but also the readers of this blog - and hoping you will pray for me too.  We are not in this thing called life alone.

Love to you all and have a restful weekend.