What are you going to do when she is...?

We knew her history - malnourished, neglected, abandoned, burned, cut, one cup of blood drained off her brain during surgery; all by age two (estimated from dental records) - but we were not told the correct prognosis.  They said that she was starting to walk and talk (mama/papa); play with her toys; that school might be a little difficult; that she should be able to live on her own.  Brooklynne will be 12 in September.  She functions at an 11 month old level.  She is non-verbal, not potty trainable, suffers from a frontal lobe brain injury due to being severely shaken, has seizures, Cerebral Palsy, has no stranger/boundary awareness...severely developmentally disabled and will need care her whole life.

We adopted Brooklynne from Guatemala in December 2006.  She was three years old.  We had visited her in Guatemala the August prior.  We knew something was not quite right and were a little worried, but had no idea how bad it would be.  On the way home we questioned if we should follow through on the adoption.

I want you to know we are not saints - we are sinners!  It was for pride's sake we followed through, ashamed as I am to admit it.  "What will people think if we do not adopt her."  "We have already raised/spent money."  "We told people that God led us to adopt her."  Had we of known what it would look like down the road...we would not have accepted the referral.  Too many unknowns.  How would we?  What about our normal family life?  Selfishness.  Not strong enough.

But God knew.  He knew Brooklynne before she was.  He knew what she would endure.  He had a plan to rescue her.  He had picked out her forever family before the foundations of the world.

Why us?  Because we were special?  NO!  We needed to be broken.  We needed to grow in our faith.  We needed to learn how to love without expecting anything in return; learn what selflessness looks like; learn how to trust God with a future of unknowns to us.  We needed to die to ourselves.

We are STILL very much a work in progress.

It was a very rough first three years.  We were angry, bitter, selfish, frustrated, desperate, exhausted, and alone.  We were very, very close to handing Brooklynne over to another family to adopt.

There is so much more to this story that I would be happy to share with you.  Feel free to let me know if you do. - For time's sake, we will jump ahead...

In 2009, God moved us from Illinois to Iowa, and with that move came a support system made up of schools, doctors/nurses, the University of Iowa Hospital, a brain injury waiver awarded to Brooklynne by the state that gives us respite care, meds paid for, and helps with other needs she has, as well as amazing friends and teachers.

All through her life, people ask us the, "What are you going to to do when she is..." questions:

...when she goes to school; when she gets bigger; when she enters puberty; when she is an adult.  Endless questions.

My answer has always been, "I don't know.  But we will do what we need when the time comes." And we have.

And that is where we are today.  A new phase.  In all honesty, Brooky hasn't been all that difficult.  Perspective is everything.  At group respite, we see children far, far worse.  And we think how easy we have it.

This past year has been a difficult one.  Brooklynne never gets sick, but this past school year, that all changed.  Lots of little fevers, diarrhea, seizure increases and changes, a couple hospital stays, lots of meds...

We have six children.  We homeschool.  Two are grown and on their own, which makes four at home yet.  Brooklynne has attended public school in our small town, and it has been such a blessing to us...to her.

But now, due to medical concerns, seizure activity changing, heat sensitivity triggering the seizures, and other misc. stuff, we are praying about keeping her home and getting services through the University Of Iowa Hospital.  I never really saw this one coming, but God did.  A year ago, I could not have told you how we could make that work.  But God is unfolding it all as I type, and I have no doubt of His provision, if we feel called to do so.  Your prayers are coveted.

Let me end on an encouraging and uplifting note!

Do you know what Brooklynne can do?  SMILE :-) , laugh, skip, hop, jump, run, climb, hug, kiss, LOVE.  She enjoys the wind, music, and great big hugs.  She brings out the best in those who know her.  She has done far more for our family than we could ever do for her.  Bonding with Brooklynne was difficult for many years, but through the trials of this year, our relationship has blossomed.  I love her more every day.  Her circumstances grow compassion in our home and hearts. 

There was a time I wondered, "What am I going to do with her."  Now I think, "What would I ever do without her."

Giving thanks in all things, for God is good all the time; His mercies are new every morning; His compassion fails not; He makes all things new; nothing is wasted and all is for His Glory alone.

Have a wonderful day, folks.